Time of death: 8:33am.  We dissolved the cube into Alice D, my trusty little wine glass. He took the first half, I the more concentrated second.  Knowing that it doesn’t happen right away, he rolls five joints and I name them Billy, Boris, Fred, Sally and Margaret.  We dawn our coats, walk around the corner and spark up Boris, our fattest child.  After a couple of puffs, I feel the effects of our liquid substance starting to take hold, I watch him exhale, and I can see the bluish carbon-dioxide and the yellow-green of the THC smoke.  “Holy Shit.”

Returning to the house, we grab some water; turn on the Buddhist chants and slump.  That’s really the only word that comes to mind.  Six pillows scattered on the bed, eventually only three are left and an hour has passed.  “Billy?” “Billy.”  Too cold outside, open the sliding door and break out the fan.  I watch him light and take a puff. You glorious creature.  He motions to me and I go over and take the joint.  “You gave me the corpse of a dead child.”  He smiles and throws me a lighter.

“Hello?  Is there anybody in there?  Just nod if you can hear me, is there anyone at all?”  Pink Floyd sings out at me as I play with the water in Alice D.  I don’t know what he’s doing, but I’m comforted to know that he’s still in the room.  I turn my attention back to the water.  Rotate the cup and watch as the drops form together, the one that us moving only goes down a certain path… that where there is already water.  Predetermined path, leads me to think about fate, coincidence.  Even now I couldn’t tell you the entire train of thought, but I know that once it was over, another hour had gone by.  He looks at me, “Hendrix?” I laugh, “Bring it.”  He turns it on and we lie side by side, I roll my head over and focus on the walls.  The shapes get darker and the pattern starts to change.  “Is this real?” I whisper and he smiles, “It’s what you make it to be.”  I sit up and stare, he looks over at me, “Oh Kay, yeah you’re hallucinating.”

Dancing patterns…

“You’re house is breathing.”  “Yeah, it happens.”

Moving sounds, moving bodies, his eyes...

“You’re such a space!”  “What?”

Laughter…

“Shit, we have to go.”  “Where?  Why?  Nooo...”  He’s lying on the bed and I’m looking at him desperately.  “The mall, that was the plan… We have to go, I know it.”

Standing at the bus stop, the no man’s land between going and staying, here or there.  We’re torn between the need to go and the want to stay, to go back to our sanctuary, the warm place where no one can touch us.  “This is a bad place; I don’t want to be here.  Let’s go back.”  He looks at me in sorrow and I can feel everything shattering.  “No, we can’t.. Don’t worry, the bus will come and everything will be ok.”

Feeling better once we get on the bus, feels like a ride to nowhere.  Everyone seems to be listening in on us; I begin to wish that we weren’t in such an enclosed space.  Finally our shuttle reaches its destination and we take out Fred.  “Alright, it’s cold.  I vote inside.”  “I agree.”  Make our way inside, so joyful and full of color around that time of the year.  Christmas lights everywhere, people smiling; I can’t take my eyes off the happy innocence of all the kids waiting to see Santa.  What a jungle this place is, once we reach the food court (watering hole) we’re overwhelmed by the smells, they sound so good.  We make our rounds, screaming our words without even realizing it.  People are committing crimes, checking to see if anyone is watching, it’s all we see.  “Why does everyone look so god damn shifty?!?!”  First attempt at getting food, we get a fit of the giggles and leave the line; I’m surprised no one has noticed us yet.   

“Excuse me, you from gamers?”  

“…Yeah why?”  I look at this strange boy, and look to mine.  “Dude, you holding any that I can buy?”  “Ha-ha!! Sure man, come sit.”  It never ceases to amaze how we all know each other.  I guess some people can just tell.  “Listen I only have a fins, hey babe is it okay if we give them Sally?” “The anorexic one?” “Yeah.” “Go ahead.”  The kid looks at me, “You named them?” “You don’t even want to know little cat.”  He stops asking, pays and we peace.  

“Look at them they’re going nuts!!!”  I giggle at the hamsters scratching at their little plexy-glass walls.  “Reminds me of us, and that god damned wall separating them is your parents.”  I punch him in the arm, “Deal with it tough guy.”  He smiles, and I smile back.  

“Hey!! Is that you?!”  He looks over his shoulder at the girl standing behind him, “Oh hey! How are you?”  “I’m great thanks.”  “This is my girlfriend, isn’t she pretty?”  I smile at him, how could anyone think you a danger?  You’re such a little mush.  They talk, I listen, it’s what I’m good at, I can read this girl, and she’s not a threat so I let them have their fun.  He notices that I’m getting fidgety, “Hey, we’re going to go, I’m going to get my girl an Italian soda, I’ll catch you later.”  

“You really going to get me one?” “Yup, strawberry right?”  “Yeah.”

Sip sip, vibration, vibration…
“Oh shit, my phone.  Hello?  Hey mom, yeah I don’t think we’re going to go to the movie, can we just come and hang out at home? Kay, see you in an hour.”
He looks at me, I can see his concern. “We good?”
“We’re perfect.”
Riding the bus to my house isn’t as bad, we’re on a downer this time, things seem more clear.  The bus is full of such eclectic people, us the English, a French couple beside us and a couple speaking Japanese in front.  “I love this city.”  I sigh and lean into him.  Before I know it we’re pulling up to my stop.  Bing.  The whoosh of cool air to my face is welcomed after the sheltered bus.  “Hello? Anyone home?”  I hear an inaudible response from downstairs.  We collapse onto the couch, and just sit in the darkness, giving our dilated eyes a rest from all the harsh lights.  “You know, we still have Margaret left.”  I look over at him and he’s smiling that devilish smile.  I sigh, “Mom! We’re going to Tim Horton’s!”  

Spark up Margaret, the fence is playing tricks on me, “Silly you, Tricks are for kids!” I giggle to myself.  On the way back I’m sipping my French Vanilla and he’s holding my hand, “I love you” he whispers into the darkness.  “I love you too.”  This has to be the longest happiest day of my life.  Once arriving at the house, my sister is in the kitchen.  “You guys want a milkshake?  I’m making.”  We both grin; he leans over and whispers, “I got her legs.”  HUG.  “GET OFF ME YOU LOSERS.”  We scamper off laughing, and after our milkshakes, promptly pass out.  

His eyelids flutter, and he wakes up to find me grinning at him, “Its 12:30, you should go home and sleep properly.”  “Nope, don’t wanna.”  “Okay, let me re-phrase that, my parents are kicking you out.”  He kisses my nose, “Alright, alright I’m going.”  I walk him to the door and nuzzle him as he puts on his shoes.  “See you tomorrow? Text me when you’re home safe?”  “Will do little one.”  I hug him, cherish him, watch him until I can’t see him anymore and my feet are numb.  

I turn around to find my mother standing there, “Did you guys do any drugs today at all?”  I smile, “No mom, just an ordinary day.”